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we google

we have a pressing question, don’t know how to proceed, need an expert’s advice, need it quick!

we google.

something that surprised me as a new blogger was the existence of  a whole behind-the-curtain world in which i could see all manner of things that the reader of my blog could not. one of the most fascinating details revealed in that hidden place was just how a person had found their way to my site. it never reveals WHO, only HOW. i can’t know your name or your address, your nickname, where you spend your money or what your so-called guilty pleasures are. i only know the street you took to get to my place…which is actually very little. i can understand if you don’t find it all that interesting. but read on. you may.

many such searches have resulted in a person landing at cooking-spree completely by accident. believe me, it’s obvious. and i presume they quickly move on.  some of those searches i’ve thought of sharing with you before because they’ve made me laugh out loud and i thought they might do the same for you. but today i came upon one that i simply couldn’t keep to myself.

we’ve all done this…in our haste to know what to do, what a French word means, how to fill in those blanks in our crossword puzzle, how to convert ounces to grams, how to unclog a drain, how to file our dog’s toenails with a dremmel..we google, and then we fail to take that extra moment to check out the names of the sites that arise from our search. we simply go about clicking on them.

no, not this one. next. click. no, not that.

and so it goes.

well, today, someone had a pressing problem, and they went googling for an expert’s advice.  they found me.

they put their  search into complete-question form (which is rather impressive in an age when we lol and btw.) the question to google was:

“What is the situation in which a kid needs a spanking with a wooden spoon?”

i’ll give you a moment or two with this…

.

.

 .

[i hum Jeopardy music here.]

the searcher didn’t notice that i’m a cooking spree…and that nothing about the name suggests that i would know a thing about correcting a child, let alone under what circumstances to do so with a spoon.

did they laugh to themselves when they saw a photo of the backside of a pomegranate being spanked with a wooden spoon and the seeds flying into a bowl beneath? did that change the mood of the moment? did they linger awhile here and find cures for doldrums, or see sunshine in a glass? or a recipe that brought back a sweet piece of their own childhood? did they take a deep and peaceful breath here?

i can hope!

but i suppose here is where it gets a little weird for me. to know how they found their way here, but to not be able to reach out feels just odd to me. it goes against the way i’m built. they found me, even by accident, but i can’t find them, even on purpose.

what difference would it make if i could? i’d love to sit down with them and just listen. maybe say a few words too.  like – “what parent doesn’t, at some point or another, pull their hair out in exasperation?” “What do i DO in a situation like this then?” they’d ask. “i know. i do! but dear heart, wooden spoons are for stirring puddings, and only recently have they been discovered to be good for spanking pomegranates. there’s always a better way with our children. maybe we could drink some tea, you and i,  and bake some cookies together and just talk…or maybe you could take a little break and leave your ‘naughty little bugger’ to bake with me. you’ll feel better after some fresh air, and they’ll feel better after some sifting and stirring, and after eating a small plate of warm cookies made with their own proud hands.”

41 Comments Post a comment
  1. Nothing surprises me in this extraordinary place that is our planet. I try to pay as little attention to the crazy people as I can. Just watch that cruelty to pomegrenates.

    January 29, 2012
    • Yes, maybe I did take it a bit far with that pomegranate. : )

      January 29, 2012
  2. Wow, I get some odd google searches but normally from people who ate too much and are looking for remedies.

    January 29, 2012
  3. Thank you for this funny, at times — and grace-filled and loving — post. I’m so glad you took time to reflect on this and share your thoughts, laced with beauty from the kitchen.

    January 29, 2012
    • Thank you dear Ashley.

      January 29, 2012
  4. Love this post, as I too have looked at how people happen upon my blog. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes sad, and sometimes just weird! Your blog makes my heart smile!

    January 29, 2012
    • Aw, thank you Carrie! As you just made mine.

      January 29, 2012
  5. Claudia #

    I loved it! Made me laugh and reflect. I saw the clip where you spank the pomegranate on the TV show and I can’t wait to try that myself. I agree with Carrie, your blog makes my heart smile and makes me homesick to be with you and that special aura you have surrounding you! I love you,, my Ani, Toni, Antoinette!

    January 29, 2012
    • You dear Claudia! I am so happy to see you here! In 2012 I’m going to see you for real! Thank you so much for leaving me words! xo

      January 29, 2012
  6. Iwas only thinking about this the other day, the searches not the spanking :) I get some off ones, but this is the BEST !

    January 29, 2012
  7. LOL! well you taught me how to yield the seeds ………. and I will never forget, spank is a great word and it works so well. Google is a support we all rely on so much tis true and I am so lazy I even look up tel nos.!

    January 29, 2012
  8. I always thought they found my blog by reading a comment or by a someone telling them about it. Google, huh??? That little imp; Mr. Google has lots of tricks he plays on us. But you can’t beat his resources for finding answers.

    That pomegranate idea of your was great: it works. I just took a pom out to make that wonderful salad with feta cheese, quinoa and greens. Yes, I stocked up because the season is so short.

    Ronnie

    January 29, 2012
    • Glad its worked for you…I’ve tried a lot of different ways of extracting the seeds, and nothing’s worked better than a (I hesitate to say it now) good spankin’. . .

      January 29, 2012
  9. carolyn #

    I laughed out loud at this post. But more than the sheer delight of it, I’m struck by the loveliness of your transparency & sensitivity. As your reader, I feel as though you just offered ME the cup of tea, & took me into your warm confidence. With faith & trust, you shared a view from ‘the inside.’ &, while we can take joy in the odd circumstances of the google journey, your compassionate words leave no doubt that there’s room for all at your loving table.now I feel juicy &plump & fed.

    January 29, 2012
    • Carolyn, there is never a time that you leave words when I am not completely humbled by them. You dearest of hearts!

      January 29, 2012
      • carolyn #

        Spree, I am so grateful to know & be known by you. If I didn’t, i’d be a lonelier reader wishing for it…Each time you post, no matter the subject, the trueness of your heart is revealed. I can’t speak for everyone, but that leaves my own heart remembering its trueness. So if I leave words that humble, my theory is they are a reflection of yours. Xo

        January 29, 2012
  10. Definitely some of the search terms are so strange, but sad to be searching up spanking with a wooden spoon.. WHO DOES THAT ANYMORE?! Perhaps you should have actually named your post “Directions for Spanking with a Wooden Spoon” then everyone would come to your site, be surprised and have a pretty little moment of peace and leave feeling restored by the beauty in your pages and heart:)

    January 29, 2012
    • Well, what a sweet thought is that! I’ll hold onto that one, Smidge, and thank you for those very llovely words.

      January 29, 2012
  11. carolyn #

    Ps
    This is so much more then a food blog. They didn’t know it, but my other theory is that the googler with the wooden spoon question ended up at the exact right spot.

    January 29, 2012
  12. Don #

    I’m with Carolyn, I laughed out loud, too. Maybe Google’s new search technology will do some good? Whatever, but I do think the blogger came to just the right spot. Cookies and tea subbed for corporal punishment, Gandhi is smiling

    January 29, 2012
    • Gandhi had the BEST smile, didn’t he?! Sweet thoughts Don, thanks!

      January 29, 2012
  13. I just read a novel where the teenage protagonist was regularly beaten with a wooden spoon by this stepfather’s mother. Far worse things were going on in the novel as well. Thank you for your kind wish to help parents at their wits’ end.

    January 29, 2012
    • Appreciate that “kale” – thank you.

      January 29, 2012
  14. You inspired an outright guffaw on this one, Antoinette! You could have had a much worse “spanking” search turn up here to my way of thinking, and I really don’t want to think about that particular search any more than I have to!

    January 29, 2012
    • I’m with you 100%….moving quickly away from all spanking thoughts…!

      January 29, 2012
  15. I get some strange searches too but I loved the feelings behind your post, sometimes I wish I could reach out to some people be it people you only cross roads with for a few minutes or those you can see so much pain or rage in their eyes that they try hard to keep hidden.
    Thank you for a wonderful post Spree

    January 29, 2012
    • Sawsan…thank you very much for your comment! I’m thinking your heart and mine must be woven similarly.

      January 30, 2012
  16. This is such a well written post. Maybe after reading your blog they were inspired to go cook or bake something instead of spanking their child! One can hope…

    January 29, 2012
  17. Brilliant post – but there are some funny people out there for sure. I often get weird searches in Spanish…you do wonder if they stay and look around for a while or if they rush away in horror at having found….shock…FOOD!!!

    January 30, 2012
  18. Someone once googled marijuana and arrived at my blog. Huh? Unless I’ve inadvertently hidden some DaVinci-like code within the recipes, I cannot figure that one out. As for the spoon question, if you must search the web for the answer, I wish you had come around earlier. I would have suggested wearing a condom.

    January 30, 2012
    • John, that, my friend, was PRICELESS! Thank you for the good laugh!

      January 30, 2012
  19. Val #

    Great post Spree. It’s all down to your lovely photography I’m afraid… I just googled the same question and hit the ‘images’ link and sure enough, there, jumping off the screen, is your photo of a pomegranate being spanked in amongst a mixture of lesser quality child-smacking and food related images. It’s no wonder they clicked on it!

    January 30, 2012
    • Thanks for the comment, and thanks too for doing the dirty work for me Val! Glad I won’t have to go there in order to satisfy my curiosity. (and note to self: quit taking pretty pictures)

      January 30, 2012
  20. Great post. Imagine how the world would turn if there were more willing bakers to share their baking love with kids that need a little time out from their exasperated parents…sounds like a whole lot of wonderful I think.

    January 30, 2012
    • A whole big lot of wonderful, yes. Maybe we should start asking for volunteers???

      January 30, 2012
  21. Poor misunderstood pom……

    January 30, 2012
  22. Yes, those search engines can be truly weird, mysterious, hilarious and eyebrow-raising all at the same time. Perhaps they need to be spanked.

    January 31, 2012

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