A diet of adrenaline
Rising this morning in a dense fog not typical for me, I made a slow but straight bee line to my chair in the living room. There I sat. Though my eyes wandered out the window, there was no intention behind them, and I’m not sure I actually saw anything. I sat some, and then I decided to sit some more, waiting perhaps for a thought to form, or an inclination to do. Nothing really came to me and so I wrote:
All the adrenaline I’ve produced and consumed over these last couple weeks has me pretty exhausted. Right now I’m wondering: do I really want to rise from my chair? Who will bring me my breakfast? What if I have to go to the bathroom? Then what? : )
I need a friend to take me by the hand and put me on a forest path and then I would know what to do. I would take a step. And then another. And then finally, maybe I would breathe.
Does it ever happen for you this way? Life presents you with something that calls for your full attention, all the resources at hand, or maybe even your full heart and mind, focused and present for what is being asked of you. Or, let’s say it’s a much milder mishap and you’re simply thrown a curve ball after a long string of pitches straight across the middle of the plate. What do you do? Usually we’re faced with a menu of options, and frequently we’ll grab at the thing closest or most familiar. We’re all doing the best we can, right? And sometimes the best we can do is simply cope with what we have. Sometimes gracefully. Other times, not so much. Us, being human. Sometimes, it’s just one foot in front of the other, until we have a rhythm going again. I know some of you out there have done what I’ve done, and fed on too much adrenaline for a time, and then after days of that, come to a crashing halt. What do you do then? Who, or what, do you reach for?
Knowing we were having our dear Zack for dinner tonight, I wanted comfort food for us all. Each of us has need of a slow and easy meal around the table tonight. What would it be? The avgolemono soup of the previous post would have fit that bill perfectly (especially since my husband is all sniffle-y with a cold.) But, first of all, we didn’t have any, and secondly, if we did it would have been growing cultures by now, so whatever dinner would be, it would mean starting from scratch. Getting to think on a blank canvas (or from an empty refrigerator) can be liberating (or intimidating.) So, thinking: first, warm in the belly, then, cool on the tongue…tonight’s dinner will comfort, from start to finish:
Indian Fish Stew on Basmati Rice
Toasted Pita Triangles
A Minty Cucumber & Yogurt Salad
I’ll share photos and recipes tomorrow. Now, I return to my comfortable kitchen to wash and slice, measure, pour and stir. To breathe, smell and listen. That’s one sweet way to put one foot in front of the other and find our way back home.
[You can find the recipes referenced above at the top of the blog in the “slider” menu.]
To answer your question: I reach for cookies!
I believe I have had parts of that dinner once at your house. Exquisitely satisfying.
Why you rascal-y squirrel! I would have thought you’d reach for an acorn!
My eyes want to lose myself in that diaphanous spiral drifting over green. That’s where I want to be when I come to my next inevitable, crashing halt. Thank you for tender seeing. And for sharing the seen.
I continue to be impressed with all aspects of your work–the photography and the recipes are truly oustanding but perhaps I’m most affected by the writing. The entirety of your efforts surely deserves the widest possible audience and I say that with complete objectivity.
I have curry several times a week and find it greatly satisfying using a number of different fresh vegetables, particularly sliced yellow squash and broccoli. [For bread, I usually have the frozen naan from Trader Joe’s rather than pitas–very authentic–and for me it wouldn’t be a genuine meal without the spiced Indian tea that I buy online]. I would also substitute for the fish a particular form of Japanese tofu that is prepared in such a way that it provides intensely flavorful and chewy morsels.
Thank you for such high praises! And thank you too for your comments on the curries on your table. Like you, I’m a big fan.